


I Always Liked That Best

by ladywinchester1967



Series: In Love and Pain [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 17:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywinchester1967/pseuds/ladywinchester1967
Summary: **told from first person POV**Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female CharacterWarnings: ANGST, implied smut, feels, fluff.A/N: I’ve loved this song by Cyndi Thompson since I was really young (it’s a country song so just forewarning you if you aren’t into country music) and have ALWAYS wanted to write something based on it. All lysics are in italics and texts are bold and italicized. This one is gonna be 2 parts (YAY!) so I hope ya’ll enjoy! Unbet’d, all mistakes are mine, pics are not!**THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION and is not meant to disrespect Jensen, Danneel or their family because I love and adore them.**





	1. Chapter 1

_Where do I start?_

_Laying on a blanket underneath the stars with_

_Your head on my chest._

_I always liked that best._

  
  


It’s amazing what we do and do not remember as time goes by, I mused. I couldn’t remember a lot of things; my first words, my first favorite book, the name of my first grade teacher. But when it came to him; everything seemed burned into my memory. He had the most luscious head of dark brown hair. I always loved running my fingers through it and he always said he enjoyed it because it helped him relax. I could still feel the scratch of his stubble on my exposed cleavage, hear the deep sigh he’d let out as the Texas sky was bared to us. Stars and planets twinkled and shone like a light show that was meant just for us.

  
  


_I hate how time flies, I still think back sometimes,_

_'Bout your lips on my neck._

_I always liked that best._

  
  


Kissing him always felt like a dream; like he’d dropped out of a romance novel or something. He not only used his mouth but his hands, always stroking my skin, my hair, gripping me gently or tightly depending on his mood. My favorite was when my hair would be up in a bun or a ponytail, he would sneak up behind me, wrap his hands around my waist. He’d pepper the sides, base and back of my neck in the sweetest, most loving kisses. If I thought back hard enough, I could still feel them on my skin.

  
  


_That time we took a ride, ended up down by the river side._

_Soft touch, wet kiss._

_I always liked that best._

  
  


He always loved cruising at night, the country roads open wide for us and he could really let his truck roar. One night, he took left on to a little pig path and followed it down to the banks over looking a river I didn’t know existed.

“Is this someone’s property?” I asked with trepidation as he cut the truck off and handed me a flash light.

“Maybe.” He said with a mischievous gleam in his bottle green eyes. He had a way of smirking that assured me that even if we got in trouble, we could easily get out of it. He took my hand, pulled me on to his back, giving me a piggyback ride all the way down to the bank. One thing let to another and the next thing I knew, we were jumping into the river in nothing but our underwear, laughing the whole time. When I came up for air, he was smiling like a child at Christmas and closed the distance between us easily. My toes barely touched the bottom and I clung to him to stay above water, which made him laugh.

“Hold on Tinkerbell!” He teased as he held me tightly.

  
  


_I like the way you used to hold me_

_I like the way you came to know me_

_Ya came to know me well, well, well_

  
  


Waking up with him next to me, I sighed and thought. I usually woke up before him and looked at him. He always had a hand on me, this particular morning, his hand was on my back as he slept peacefully next to me. The sun caught the browns, blonds and reds in his hair and beard. His sharp, angular jaw hidden beneath the scruff I loved so much. His strong back and shoulders rose and fell easily with each breath. I reached out, gently touching his face, careful not to wake him as I tucked a longer lock of hair behind his ear. He groaned in his sleep and pulled himself close to me, wrapping me securely into his arms.

  
  


_Falling to sleep_

_Wearing your shirt 'cause it smelled so sweet_

_Who could forget_

_I always liked that best_

  
  


If he was gone for a few days for work, I always wore of of his shirts to bed, it was like having him there with me. Plus, his shirts were way more comfortable than mine; nice and broken in. Inevitably, he’d come home and catch me in one of them and not much else.

“My favorite way to find you.” He’d said once as he scooped me up and carried me to our bed.

  
  


_Or loosing my heart_

_Every time ya sing to me on your guitar_

_Lady in Red_

_I always liked that best_

  
  


He claimed he couldn’t sing; adamantly denied he could, but I knew better. Once a guitar was in his hand, he would sing, and boy could he carry a tune. Simple Man, Sweet Home Alabama, the Joker....he’d built up quite a set list. Most times I would talk him into singing a cheesy love song, but he usually only did that if I sang too.

  
  


_I like the way you used to hold me_

_I like the way you came to know me_

_Ya came to know me well, well, well_

  
  


I’d never opened up to one person as much as I did him. He knew everything about me; hopes, fears, dreams, nightmares, aspirations.....and he listened when I talked. He never made me feel like I wasn’t special or that he didn’t care about me. The way he held my hand and my gaze, the way he smiled when he knew I was speaking about my passions was captivating in itself.

  
  


_I could go on_

_So many things I miss now that you're gone_

  
  


In the end; the distance had gotten to be too much for us. I was still in Texas and he was in Los Angeles. No amount of passion or dedication made that distance smaller or less hard for us. I remembered that last day I saw him as clear as if it were yesterday. We both agreed this wouldn’t work if we were headed in two different directions. With tears in our eyes, we held each other, falling apart at the seams. My first love, my first everything was walking out of the door and I had to let him, no matter how badly it hurt.

Ten long years later, I looked down at my phone as it lit up with an Instagram notification that nearly stopped my heart.

  
  


_**jensenackles has requested to follow you.** _

  
  


“No.” I said out loud, it couldn’t be.

I opened up the notification and froze as his page loaded. His shoulders and arms were bigger than I remembered but that unmistakable grin and bottle green eyes hadn’t changed at all. The app pinged with a message from him and I shakily opened it.

  
  


_**Hey! I know it’s been a long time, but I can’t believe I found you! How are you?** _

  
  


My mouth was dry; I wanted to scream, run, hurriedly answer and throw up all at the same time. My fingers shook as I held the phone and went to my follow requests. I stared at the notification for longer than I really should have, but I had no idea what to do.

  
  


_Your love, oh yes_

_I always liked that best._

 


	2. Not a Day Goes By

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Female Character
> 
> Warnings: ANGST, fluff, feels and something special.
> 
> A/N: This is part 2 of “I Always Liked That Best”, this is based on a song by Lonestar that I’ve loved for many years (again, it’s country music if you aren’t into that, you’ve been warned). Unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine.
> 
> **THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION; not meant to disrespect Jensen, Danneel or their family because I love them.**

It had been 2 weeks since I’d gotten Jensen’s follow request. I’d accepted it but waited a day before answering.

  


**Yeah! It has been a while; I’m doing okay, how are you?**

  


He’d answered nearly immediately, which surprised me.

  


_**Doing okay; living in Malibu. I’m headed back to Texas for a little bit while I’m on break from filming. Any chance we could get together?** _

  


My mouth went dry. Ten years. Ten long years and he still wanted to see me? We’d ended on good terms but I never thought I’d talk to him again. I typed back my reply

  


**Sure! Let me know what dates you’ll be in town and we’ll figure something out.**

  


My message seemingly hung in the air for a few days, he didn’t answer, nor did I pester him for one. I’d often wondered what he’d been up to all these years but never had the courage to look him up, scared of what I might find.

  


_Got a picture of you I carry in my heart_

_Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark_

_Got a memory of you I carry in my soul_

_I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold._

  


No; I reasoned, my memories of him where I felt most comfortable. Most safe.

  


Three days after my last exchange with Jensen, I went to an old friend’s house for a small holiday get together. I walked through the door of Jason Manns’ house like I owned the place, only to be greeted by him and some of his friends giving me huge hugs and greetings. After a few hours, I was pleasantly buzzed from the beer he’d been serving. I was talking with a girl I didn’t know when I heard the door open and Jason yell “JENSEN!”

It felt like I’d been electrocuted, he smiled and greeted Jason with a hug and then suddenly, his eyes were on me. The world seemed to go silent, I didn’t know he’d be there, Jason hadn’t mentioned it and probably for good reason. I turned and looked away, maybe he wouldn’t notice.

I wasn’t ready to see him; not ready to look into those intense green eyes, afraid of what I’d say if he asked me anything.

Sometime later, the conversation I was having was over and I’d made my way over to a bench seat by the window, watching the snow fall outside.

“Hey, there you are.” A spine tingling familiar voice said, pulling me out of my own head.

I looked up and like right of a dream, there he was. I stood and smiled; he was taller than I remembered. He wore a dark jacket, a light shirt and dark pants.

  


“Hey stranger.” I said “Should we hug or?”

“I think a hug is okay.” He said with his trademark bright smile. We did just that, our arms wrapped around each other and it felt like coming home. He felt the same, all though with a few more muscles, I noted. His smell and body heat were just as intoxicating as they always had been. When we parted he looked me up and down, then said

“Wow, you look amazing. How are you?”

“Fine,” I answered automatically “just fine.”

  


_If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine_

_But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind_

  


His face fell for just a second, but then was back to his warm grin.

“That’s good,” he said and took a sip of the drink he was holding “so are you still at the same job?”

“No,” I told him as my hands shook from nervousness “I’m the head event coordinator for a local wedding venue.”

Jason seemed to appear from no where.

“She’s being modest,” Jason interrupted “she’s the H.B.I.C at Little River Farms.”

“H.B.I.C?” Jensen asked

“Head bitch in charge.” I said with a laugh. Jensen echoed this laugh and said

“Wow, that’s awesome.”

We settled into an easy conversation as the hole in my chest that I’d learned to live with seemed to fill again.

  


_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you_

_After all this time you're still with me it's true_

_Somehow you remain locked so deep inside_

_Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by_

  


His laugh, his demeanor, his little mannerisms, everything was still there. He may have been older, but he was still the man I’d fallen in love with all those years ago. If I was being honest, he was the guy I’d never gotten over. The one that’s set the bar for all future boyfriends.

  


**Jensen’s POV**

  


God; she was beautiful. She always had been, the image of her in my mind hadn’t changed from the woman I saw before me. I ached to be close to her, to hold her and tell her how fucking stupid I’d been to let her go. I’d always thought about her, ever since I left Texas for California. I wondered for a long time what she’d been up to. I resigned to the fact that she’d probably found a nice guy and settled down with a white picket fence and a dog. Part of me was relieved when I found her on Instagram and didn’t see any sign of a guy on it.

  


_I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night_

_Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right._

_And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark_

_Wishin' you were next to me, with your head against my heart._

  


She’d always had nightmares, even if I wasn’t home to comfort her, she would call me and fall asleep with me on the phone. She’s always said it made her feel like I was there with her. When I was home, I always held her close, she always knew I was there that way, the sweet smell of her peach shampoo would fill my nose and I’d instantly relax. Sometimes I’d find myself waiting for those phone calls and cuddles; more often than I’d readily admit if anyone asked me.

“What about you?” She asked “How’re you doing?”

“Fine,” I answered automatically “just fine. Working on a few projects right now, got a lot of things coming down the pipe.”

“Really?” She asked, her eyes popping “That’s awesome!”

  


_If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine_

_But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind._

  


“You’re doing what you went to California to do,” she said, her eyes gleaming “that’s great Jensen, I’m really happy for you.”

My soul seemed to ache; yes having work was great, the money was fantastic, but it always felt like something was missing. I knew damn good and well what it was, but I buried it deep down and kept pushing forward.

  


_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you_

_After all this time you're still with me it's true_

_Somehow you remain locked so deep inside_

_Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by_

  


**Her POV**

His calm, cool exterior seemed to splinter when I told him how happy I was for him. I truly am, he’d dreamed of being an actor and he finally was. Part of me hurt because I knew he’d have given it up to be with me. I hadn’t wanted him to. I couldn’t be the reason he didn’t chase his dream. I couldn’t hold him back; I’d never have forgiven myself if I had.

The rest of the party seemed to fall away, like we were the only two people there. We chatted, laughed and joked like no time had passed between us. He was as sweet and caring as ever, asking about my family (that still adored him) and telling me about his when I asked.

“Dad still asks about you.” He told me and I smirked.

“He always was sweet to me, how is he?” I asked

“He’s Dad, he hasn’t changed much and doesn’t plan to either.” Jensen told me and I laughed.

  


_Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days_

_Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way._

  


The party started to thin after what felt like a few minutes, but when I glanced down at my watch, it had been four hours.

Four hours alone with my first love.

“I’ve gotta get going,” I told him “I have a few loose ends to tie up at work tomorrow before the holidays.”

Jensen nodded, finishing his drink.

“Any chance I could see you again before I leave?” He asked, his eyes hopeful.

I wasn’t sure I could stand being this close to him, knowing damn good and well he was leaving in a few days.

“Are you sure?” I asked “I mean, don’t you have someone to get home to?”

He looked confused for a second and then realized what I meant.

“No,” he said “no, there isn’t anyone else. Hasn’t been for a long time.”

I was partially relieved and partially terrified; could I trust myself alone with him?

  


_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you_

_After all this time you're still with me it's true_

_Oh, somehow you remain locked so deep inside._

  


I mentally kicked myself as I shook my head.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to check and see how things look. But I’ll message you okay?”

The look on his face nearly killed me. He looked devastated.

“Okay.” He said and with a nod, he was gone.

  


I hugged Jason and hug and quietly slipped out of the party, crying the entire way home.

“ _No,_ ” I thought “ _he’s where he belongs and I’m where I belong._ ”

  


When I returned to my apartment, I had cried myself into exhaustion. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed, wrap myself in blankets and disappear. I climbed the stairs and let myself in. Once the door was shut behind me, I locked it and sank to the floor, crying harder than I had in the car. I pulled my knees up to my head and cradled myself as I broke down.

  


I washed my makeup off and brushed my teeth, prepared to cry myself to sleep when I heard a knock at the door. I looked out of my bathroom and paused. I heard the knock again. I assumed it was coming from one of the other apartments, but I tip toed to the door to make sure. Another knock came as I checked the peep hole.

“Jensen.” I breathed when I saw him and quickly opened the door. “What’re you doing here?!” I asked as I opened the door.

“I don’t know.” He admitted as I let him in. His shoulders were dusted with snow, as was his hair, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“You didn’t just trod through snow for an “ _I don’t know_ ” I know you better than that.”

“You’re damn right you know me better than that!” He exclaimed “I’m a fucking idiot okay? I shouldn’t have walked away. I should’ve fought for you, for us. You’re the only person I’ve ever truly wanted, no NEEDED in my life and you’re not there.” It hit me like a ton of bricks as he went on “If something good or bad happens, you’re the first one I want to call. If I’m having a bad day or a good day, you’re the only person I want to talk to.” His eyes were pleading “Please tell me what I’m feeling isn’t all in my head. Please.” He begged.

I didn’t have any words; tears slipped down my face as my lip trembled.

“Jens,” I breathed “no, it isn’t all in your head.”

His shoulders relaxed as he took two steps toward me and embraced me. I cried as he held me tightly. He kissed my cheek as I gripped his jacket. “Jensen please.” I begged him.

“Tell me,” He rasped in my ear “what is it?”

He placed his hands on their side of my face, his thumbs tilting my tear stained face up to his.

“I can’t do this just one time, I can’t.”

“Neither can I,” He said as he stroked my cheek “you’re it. You’re the only one I want.”

I nodded and kissed him, mustering up all the courage I could to do it. His lips were just as warm and plush as I remembered. He held my face so gently, like he thought I would break in his hands.

“I love you Jensen,” I murmured to him between kisses “I always have.”

“I love you too sweet girl.” He answered “I’m not letting you go. Never again.”

I practically tore his coat off, sending it to the floor as he picked me up and carried me to my room, holding me tightly as we kissed. He kicked my door shut and laid me in the bed. We both shed our layers until we were both bare. I had been right, he’d bulked up in ten years, but he still had the long, lean body I’d known all those years ago. He let his hands roam over my skin, as if he hadn’t missed a beat. He knew exactly where to touch me to drive me crazy, his rough palms easily danced over my skin, my core pounded with want.

“Jensen please!” I begged as his thumbs graced over my nipples, making them stand at attention. Without a word, his mouth sealed over mine and he pushed gently inside me. I shook, burying my fingers in his hair. I moaned his name as he pushed in and out of me, desire filling my belly. He fondled my breasts a little longer as he kissed me. My legs locked around his waist as we moved together. I whined into his mouth as I reached my peak.

“Jens, JAY!” I cried as ice seemingly ran up my spine. He moaned into my mouth and held my face again.

“I know,” he breathed, his voice sending letting puffs of air on to my mouth “let go sweet girl, I got you.”

I arched my back and finally did let go. The feelings I had for him broke through the dam I’d long built up to hold back. Looking in his eyes in that second, I knew. The missing piece in my life was back. No amount of miles or loneliness could change that. He was my first and only love.

  


  


_Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by_

_That I don't think of you._

 

 


End file.
